Hufflepuff is the best house because of badgers and if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit then get out of my face
I’m not sure if I’m the sluttiest nerd you know, or the nerdiest slut… or both.
time will tell.
I look up to a lot of people.
its not because I respect them or admire them or anything its just because I happen to be part daschund or corgi or some other really short dog.
a few years ago, in a city not too different from here, a young man lived with his girlfriend and her son
one day the man came home from hockey training to find a lovingly prepared meal made by his girlfriend
and with leftovers for his lunch the next day
he was overjoyed
after having his fill, she tenderly wrapped the plate of leftovers up tight with clingwrap and gently placed it in the fridge
later that night the man grew hungry again, and decided to have some leftovers
and when he did… he left the clingwrap open, torn and in disarray
“what’s the worst that could happen” he mused
the next day
HE WOKE UP DEAD
seriously though i wrap that shit for a reason you buttplug
don’t make me destroy you
next week: UNTOLD AGONIES AWAIT THE MAN WHO LEFT THE COCOPOPS BAG OPEN
i wish we were more like birds like the boys would just come up and be like ‘ooh its a female i better do this little dance show and sing her a song then we can build our own little house out of twigs and then she can lay some eggs and then vomit in our children’s mouths’